Sleeping Sickness

Sometimes I feel like there is too much going on inside my head. Like there is a barrage of thoughts echoing their way through to get my attention. There’s a ghost of Christmas past, present and future guiding me through each awful thought. The only muppet though is me! I just can’t wait for them all to quieten down, so I don’t have people asking me constantly “are you ok?” and I respond with the only way I know how: “sorry I was just thinking about something”.

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What I don’t think a lot of people realise is that everyone is pretending. Pretending to have the perfect relationship, perfect career, perfect home, or perfect family. We never take a picture and share what we want to forget.

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What I find helps (taken from Tara Brach) is to take a moment and think of sitting next to the emotion you are feeling:

  • Fear – think of the people who would want to help you through this, and places you feel safe.
  • Anger – Understand the space that is happening in, and observe it whilst you stand next to it.

One metaphor I love is that this man drew a small V on a large piece of paper and he asked: what people could see? They answered “a bird”. After a while he said “it’s the sky with a bird flying through it”. This is remembering the big picture; to gain perspective. Whether that is playing some music, taking a walk, having a laugh, something that pulls you out of the fog that you are in.

It’s funny that all these busy loud voices can make you feel lonely. I think it’s so important to understand that, everyone has their awful times (we just see their picture perfect instagram lives) I mean look at 2007 Britney! You are allowed your bad times, and you are more than entitled to pick yourself up to reach for your good times. It’s ok to say you’re having a crap day because your mental health isn’t great that day. That makes you a hell of a lot braver than 99% of people in this world.

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