I have a block of memory missing from my brain. Doctors, therapists and friends say “it’s your body protecting you from a traumatic event”. It’s not that simple to me.
The charred memories I have, are like me watching a movie of a fake twin sister. It’s haunting and unsettling. – But it Happened
I watch my minds eye look in the mirror, and touch the bruises on my neck. It looks like me, but it doesn’t feel right. – But it Happened
I remember the police officer telling me that in court they were going to make me look like a liar (because I couldn’t remember). – But it Happened
I remember him coming into the club and refusing to leave, whilst I had a restraining order. – It Happened
I am just about coming to terms with the flashbacks, the non linear story line, the feeling of not being present. Part of me wants to open pandoras box, and sit and watch what happened to me from end to end. I am scared if I did, my pandora’s box wouldn’t have hope in it.
I have been scared to write to this because I don’t have a solution. Which is always my issue, I search for perfection.