You Already Know

Every day is a challenge for a person with mental health issues. I get up for my morning cup of tea in the office. Oh no wait there is a person in the kitchen…

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I stutter and I stumble through awkward silences back to my desk. I’m trying to quieten down my inner voice of “you can’t just end a conversation like a normal person?”.

My emails and spreadsheets lull me back into a daze… Someone touches my shoulder and this sends an electric shock through my body. I’m triggered into a place of 12 years ago. It’s odd I don’t see it, but I feel it. The shame, the panic, the loneliness, oh the panic.  Whilst I’m finding my way back to reality, I hear that same person saying “oh you don’t like to be touched do you?”. I feel bad for my strange requests. Why can’t I just be “normal”?

Glancing onto instagram confirms that I’ve not hit the life markers of baby, or marriage at the age of 32. Or I’m not out there in the sun, or winning competitions, or my make isn’t perfect. Which compiles onto body image, and life image anxieties. Thankfully I’m now onto the “I just don’t give a shit” stage of my life. I just wish it was possible for so many other people.
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People with poor mental health don’t just have anxiety or depression or bipolar. They are a mesh of all sorts or mental health issues. Throughout the day they can be triggered in all sorts of different ways, either by social media, situations or the people around them. It is important that we show understanding and care of each other, and we speak out about mental health.

Not speaking out is ordinary – Roman J Israel esq

 

 

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