When our families bodies are struggling to hold them anymore, you get to find out whose hearts fall in sync with yours. The ones that do let you be free, to discuss the emotions that are beyond the “she’s fine”. You sail through thoughts with them of ups and downs. They make you feel connected. Alive.
This isn’t the most interesting part of anyone’s journey… It’s when the person that you thought would be there, isn’t. This change warps’s your perception on the world, and all of it’s softness you thought it was made of. It becomes dark and grey, hidden in a vail of sarcasm, and self deprecation.
Let’s not forget the anger, of being left. You got to get it out, or you’ll end up carrying it around, and that’s a “ball and chain” that you don’t want people to watch you struggle to carry.
After the next few weeks, apologies are made. Keys are given back. “No, no hard feelings.” Holding onto them, keeps you resentful and angry. It makes you look at the world through shades of grey (sadly not 50 shades). I’m learning boundaries, and not exceptions. I finally found all my courage that was buried inside of me, under a lot of “What if’s”.